First it was only going to be for three months, then four, then six more, and after that came another six.
And a year and a half later I hand it the letter that explains hows grateful I am for the experience, but yes, the rumors are true.
I will be leaving Slate Falls, September 31, 2012.
I know I’ll start to look back the minute I leave. Not wishing for it again or doubting my decision, but looking back with that clarity that history brings. Going over the moments. The things I wish I would have done. The lessons I learned that I am not noticing yet.
Right now, it’s still just daily life.
And it is hard for me to see it as anything but that. I’m still getting up at 7 and getting to work by 830. I’m still packing lab coolers and organizing the pharmacy. I’m still walking home and covering for medical driver on the weekend. I’m still getting called to guard at the jail. I”m still dealing with the emotional remains of too many kids almost dying this winter.
But I know, as soon as my car pulls out of Rawhide Rd, and I realize this is no day trip to Dryden for groceries, it will all come crashing in.
All the joys, and victories, the regrets, and I-wish-I-would-haves will be brought into sharp focus by the very act of pulling away, of cutting off, of leaving.
So for now, I just do the next thing, and breath in the lake air a little deeper, trying to save up for the day when I won’t be able to run down to the dock to watch the sunset.
This is all far too familiar. Keep living every day with joy and giving every moment your all.
Twila H. said:
Hi Esta, Don’t know if you know me or not, but I remember when you were small, Had a lot of good times with your parents, So excited when I found your blog, and found out you are still at Slate Falls, We have a whole stash of memories from there. Assume your in nursing of some kind. Our Son Kendall and his family live in Red Lake,he works part time at the hospital and other part at Northern Chiefs. He is actually taking maternity leave now as they had a new baby girl several weeks ago. Look them up if you get there? Thanks for letting me keep in touch with you, give your parents our greetings, Don’t know if we even know where they are? Blessings to you as you serve him at Slate.
A lovely picture of leaving.