I have always loved being the only one in an empty elevator. I mean really, there is nothing worse than being in an elevator with someone else. You both stare awkwardly at the floor. Meeting someone’s eyes is an uncomfortable thing when your standing three feet away from them in a big empty steel box. If you’re brave you mutter statements about what unit they work on, and how your are a nursing student and they just look at you like, “Why are you talking to me?” And then you feel dumb because things always sound dumber in an elevator.
So, the fact still remains. I like being in empty elevators.
And I’ll let you on a secret I’ve never told anyone until today. The real reason I like empty elevators is because I can dance around and pretend to sing karaoke and NO ONE would ever know. It’s a girl thing to do at sleepovers. Everyone gets in their PJs and lets their hair down and then they all grab hairspray bottles to use as mics and dance around and sing. One girl thing that I never did. Looking back now it was probably because it was safer to sit and laugh then get up and risk not doing it right. Yet, I always loved doing it—I just did it in empty elevators instead of slumber parties. And remember, no one could see me. My dance routines, I’ll admit, got pretty wild over time.
But now my dancing days in elevators are over. Because I discovered a horrifying truth—one that I should have reasoned out long ago.
It was Tuesday afternoon and I was headed up to the Ortho Surg unit. I pressed the up arrow and the doors swung open on a completely empty elevator. I was elated. Got in and pressed my floor. It had been an especially stressful day, with bitter exchanges between staff and students. I was tired. And stressed. And ready to leave with four hours yet to go. So when those doors closed I let all my stress go in one exaggerated, head tossing, catwalk across the metal floor. I turned around to start my rendition Micheal Buble’s “Moondance” when I glanced up and saw this little thing sticking out of the ceiling.
And it hit me just like that.
Of course, you slow child.
All elevators have security cameras.
I shall never dance in an elevator again.